After waiting for an age to visit Europe again after my last visit (six weeks ago) we headed off to Spain for the first time that wasn’t with family as a kid or to consume large amounts of Estrella.
We chose Valencia as Kay spent 6 weeks teaching at an English college there in 2017, and although she seen a few things there were plenty of new things to explore for us both.
Friday
Our 6:30am departure to the home of paella left on time from Bristol, even though there was an evacuation due to a fire alarm, and the worry of boarding a Ryanair flight with hand luggage anything over the size of a pencil case.
Valencia airport has a direct metro in to town that takes around half an hour, and we needed one further stop to arrive at Hotel Expo, located no more than 20 minutes walk in to the centre and plenty of shops, restaurants, bike hire and the main park seconds away. As we were a few hours early we strolled around the shopping centre selling pretty much anything one would need and had some lunch at a cafe between Burger King and McDonalds before being given our room card earlier than expected.
The hotel was a standard 3 star, but it gets the thumbs up for a rooftop swimming pool, BRILLIANT air conditioning and a value for money 10 euro breakfast buffet.
Once settled and cooled we headed out towards the City Centre, that was closer than anticipated when looking at the map. Our first stop was to the Central Market and the smell of fresh fish in 34 degree heat. Even so, we entered to a concoction of colour and bustling locals.
I never quite understand why a market has 20 stalls all selling the same things, but if it keeps them going then great. I lost count of the deli’s selling ham after 20 or so, and even got persuaded in to buying some chopped up fruit, as was the appeal of something fresh to combat the climate.
Unprepared for the glaring sunshine we hopped between shaded areas to reach the Cathedral. Regular #hownot2life’ers know I don’t usually have a major interest in churches of museums but the cathedral had a viewing tower the Torre de Micalet, something I simply have to benefit from, hot or not.
207 giant steps were made a little easier thanks to the family in front of us taking their time, and once we rose at the top (via a breather or two) we were greeted with a view that covered the majority of the city, only recognising a handful of tall buildings interrupting the terracotta landscape.
The first thing I looked for was the Mastella, home to Valencia football club. After a slight struggle I picked out the orange and black uncovered stands and added it to the list of places to visit before the weekend was done.
Back on the ground we wandered to the Plaza de la Virgen square, housing a statue of a naked geezer loving life even with quite a bit of birdshit over him.
Then we made our way to Lonja de Sela. Although not too appealing from the outside, this UNESCO site was well worth a 20 minute visit.
After buying your ticket you walk in to a courtyard full of blossoming orange trees and the building has several interesting rooms, I especially enjoyed the stain glass window that lit up the corridor towards the main room, a silk exchange back in the day.
We had now been out for a few hours and decided to walk back to the hotel before our evening plans.
Kay didnt really sell Valencia to me but one thing she did swear by was the all-you-can-eat chicken place, thankfully walkable distance from our hotel too.
Before a fiesta of food I was interested in seeing where Kay stayed for the 6 week sabbatical. A huge benefit of this was that we walked past the “New” Mestalla football ground.
I say new, building work originally started in 2003 but 16 years later if is still a concrete shell due to the club’s debt issues, a redesign offering hope, and then more financial difficulty.
Arriving at Kay’s apartment I was a bit unsure as to how I would survive spending six weeks there but really please I could finally picture where May spent the longest time away from each other in 10 years.
Enough of that cute crap, dinner time! Wearing flip-flops was taking its role and without Kay having an exact ETA we eventually arrived at the Chicken place, La Parilla. The only thing was, it was closed. fucking closed, Available to rent.
Urgently hoping to see if they relocated I noticed a TripAdvisor review as soon as a week ago, and nothing to say they were closing. But they were definitely closed – I even tried to bloody ring them looking at the shutters and for rent sign!
Flabbergasted and not far away from tears we got the metro the short way along the avenue and decided to have something around the hotel. The American Diner in comparison was a big disappointment and I didnt really appreciate paying 16 Euros for a mouthful of fatty beef. If I hadn’t seen such riches, I could live with being poor…
I was over it by the time we picked up some snacks and headed back to our room. A sunny Saturday in Spain, AND the start of the football season for the County!
Saturday
Contrary to my luxury spa dates in Hungary, the pool at the hotel didn’t open until ten, which ultimately meant I never made use of it during the whole weekend. Instead we feasted on the breakfast buffet and – amber replica shirt adorned – headed to the BioPark.
What is a BioPark? Well, it was sold to us as this kind of nature reserve that is a lot less cagey than a zoo. At a cost of €25 each the walk around started promising as we passed the flamingos and lemurs who were free to wander wherever they wanted, but as we followed the route my apprehension was validated as we got to see gorillas behind 10 inch thick glass, alligators in an area smaller than my back garden and a number of animals looking incredibly sad. I really didnt want to visit a zoo.
We spent the rest of the tour around discussing our thoughts… do the animals prefer not having to catch their food? Are the zebra better off not being ripped apart by a lion? Are the animals treated well? In fairness to the BioPark I had never been to a zoo that allowed as much space to the majority of the animals. I’m still scarred from an elephant “rescue centre” in 2015 Thailand that forced the need to throw darts and kick a football on the poor creatures.
As much as I hate to admit it the animals were really fascinating. Ultimately however, we felt mis-sold.
Grateful that we actually had an option to escape the zoo, we were ahead of schedule so headed back to the hotel to get her out stuff ready for the beach. Malvarrosa beach is quite a ride from the centre but we arrived around 3pm, allowing an hour in the sea before I tuned in to the County curtain raiser back home in Newport.
The heat of the sand was unbearable and we visited hut after hut hoping to offload some cash in exchange for a parasol. It was peak time so we gave up. I managed to have 25 minutes in the Mediterranean before turning in to the football and then disaster struck. I could only watch the football if connected to Spanish WiFi for rights purposes, not my UK transported mobile data. Fuck sake.
We packed up in two minutes and was fortunate to pick up a taxi within 60 seconds of reaching the main road. I had to listen to our first goal of the season with radio commentary but by the time Padraig Amond doubled our lead I was back in the hotel room. We ended up throwing this advantage away to draw 2-2. But better than the Cardiff result!
The evening that followed was a real quiet one. We popped to the supermarket to get some items for breakfast the next morning and had some food in a Turkish restaurant just outside the hotel. We would be hiring bikes the next day, I’m glad I have my arse a rest!
Sunday
We were up bright and early to hire bikes. I love a Sunday morning in Europe as it means I do not have a hangover. By 10am we handed over €24 for day use of two bikes and headed off in to Turia park.
The park, interestingly was the Turia river that used to flow through the city until 1986. Quite a major step to close off a whole bloody river but an answer to continuous flooding of the city.
Since then (a sign said that) Valencia/Spain has spent 636,000,000 euro converting the river in to a park. Weird and wonderful.
The park is 9.1km long and we simply had to do the full 18.2km lap. First heading west to the BioPark then all the way through the city to the east and the beautiful buildings that make up the Arts and Science park.
I dislike going anywhere twice, but would love another day roaming around Central Park in New York.
Having said that, I’m still trying to think of why Turia park doesn’t compete. Along the route there were a plethora or sporting and exercise opportunities, great facilities and playgrounds, a much better designated cycle route, even the fairground was in town over our weekend.
By the time we reached half way, the Arts and Science buildings, I’m sorry to say my arse was feeling the pain of the narrow saddle.
A perfect time to order my first ever meal via WhatsApp and just off from the park we collected takeaway paella and some chicken.
The paella was enjoyed (minus the snail) outside Gulliver’s playground. I know I’m 31 but proper regretting not having a gander at some of the slides on offer. From the air I’m sure you’d agree how cool the playground looks!
I won’t lie, the remaining 7 or so kilometres back to the hotel were stop-start and literally a pain in the arse. But we made it, rather proud and sacrificed the remaining 18 hours left on our rental deal.
After a brief siesta at the hotel, the evening started once we made the most of our metro cards to visit the home of Valencia football club, the famous Mestalla.
Mikayla wasn’t as impressed I must admit, but I was shocked how a 50,000 capacity stadium can take up so little space. Even though it’s regarded as the steepest in Europe, it still took no more than 5 minutes to walk around the external circumference. I had no interest in watching a game before the trip but left a tad gutted I never had the opportunity.
The one thing the cathedral tower didn’t offer, was a good view of the park. For this reason we headed to a standout Ferris wheel and at just €4 each jumped at the chance for a whirl and a photo. Sadly the panels offering a great view were covered in an orange tint so I’ve had to work some Photoshop magic as best as I can!
The bikes were really handy earlier in the day but you lost that ability just to stroll off path and take in the sights. We timed our revisit to the Arts and Science centre perfectly and although we had little interest of seeing what the insides offered, the sun setting to the west made for some brilliant photos. Just ask this smiling lady!
And then, perfectly timed, was the photo of the trip. No filter required.
Crossing the bridge to catch the bus for some late dinner before bed we enjoyed the sun set, and wondered what we would do for our last morning in Spain’s third city (I think?)
Monday
Aware that we had pretty much done everything we wanted to do before the remaining six hours until we’d have to leave for the airport, it was a bit of a hunt to see how we would make the most of our day.
On the way home last night we passed the main station next to the bullring so thought that would be a good place to start.
I couldn’t get a decent picture of the bullring but had anticipated Instagraming a derogitory post to anyone who thinks that bullfighting is a form of entertainment. Watching the County is rarely poetic but it’s a bit better watching some dicked throw spears in to a helpless animal.
From the main station we walked past City Hall and back to the Cathedral. My back, arse and armpit (of all things) were giving me some jip at this point but we still powered on through to walk towards one of two castle gates and back to the hotel through the park.
Weird how I was in so much pain but was more than happy to swing along chucking a story post on Instagram, huh?
Once we collected our bags it was time to leave for the airport. This was as uneventful as one could hope for and we got home just before 10am. Two days annual leave very well spent!
Trip information:
I think the cost of the flights and 3 star hotel cost £450 for three nights and spending was another €350. By sacking off the BioPark, the County emergency taxi and the shit American diner meal would have reduced that by €100.
The top thing to do would easily be to spend a day in the Turia park but the beach was as good as neighboring Benidorm and there was enough touritsy stuff to enjoy if you prefer a shorter weekend trip i.e. Friday to Sunday.Remember there is so much more to experience than we do!
Next up:
I’ve got a few days in Slovakia in October before brexit and we’re off to Ireland (northern and republic) DURING brexit. So that should be fun. Thanks Nigel, thanks Boris. Wankers.
Thanks for reading,
Chris x
How Not 2 Life 