I have a confession to make.
It all started so innocently. There we were in the frozen isle in Aldi minding our own business and some life-ruining idiot left a pack of vegetable burgers next to some tried and tested juicy Angus beef burgers.
Inquisitively, I went on to look at the nutritional information and noticing the huge difference decided we would give them a try, just about comfortable with their rabbit food content.
Give them a try I did on Tuesday 30th January 2018. For lunch that day I had three large slices of left-over meat feast pizza, which although rivaling the Dead Sea for salt content was thoroughly enjoyable. That ladies and gentlemen is the last time I have eaten meat. Vegetable burgers with rice & peas and a corn on the cob that night. It was an accident. Still, I confess today…
My name is Chris and I’m a vegetarian.
I’ve got a hunch this may come as a big surprise to a few of you. Mikayla has been looking at me weird every day since that random Tuesday night. I think she thinks I’m ill. Or a ghost. The most confusing thing for the poor girl is that I cannot think of ANY reason why I would do such a thing. Would I do it with smoking or alcohol? God no. The last time I would have had a lunch/dinner meal without meat or fish would be months ago. Then BOOM she hates me and leaving me for a Pepperami.
No hard-hitting Netflix documentary, no viral video of slaughterhouses, definitely no connection with Veganuary and nothing to do with KFC not selling their main product this week (they have ONE job…).
I’ve also been getting stick from two colleagues in work. They have had some success in exploring reasons for such a selfless (if you’re a little lamb) or selfish (if you’re Mikayla) act. Two things. Whenever we used to go out for food I would look at these options first. The mixed grill followed by the biggest burger on the menu. I’ve lost count how many times I have failed the Flaming Grill burger challenge (did it once, have certificate) and even a slender 28oz mixed grill down The Dodger is enough to ruin my evening with meat overload. We’ll round this up as “excessive quantity”.
I’ll also link quantity to my once favourite takeaway KFC. Whilst normal human beings would have perhaps, a normal meal, I would tend to go for the equivalent of half a bucket. Eating THAT much chicken off the bone almost forcing it down does make you pay closer attention to the fact you’re eating flesh off a bone. Sometimes I think I really miss a KFC but then most of the times I had it I regretted it, they’re in a complete mess without me if you read the news. And they say no-one is indispensable?
Positives:
- Spending LOADS less on takeaways. In three weeks I have had a McDonalds spicy veggie burger meal (not a fan) and large fries on two other occasions. The total for this comes to less than I would order for one sitting before. I don’t go to the chip shop as there’s nothing to have with them. On Wednesday I made my own curry instead of an £8 Indian order. Instead of getting £6 kebabs I get £1.50 chips after a night out. The one time I had pizza it was the cheapest on the menu.
- Surprisingly spending less on grocery shopping too I think. I do miss a budget frozen sausage for 5p a shout but hey ho. We buy less than half the fresh meat than we used to although still happy to cook for Kay, including ribeye steak for Valentine’s Day!! I’ve gone off my diet a little since the start of the year so maybe that’s why costs are down too. Shit food is so much cheaper. For Valentine’s Day I made do with a nice Linda McCartney pretend-minced-beef and vegetable pie, just £1.25 for 2 in Iceland.
- Staying with the last point… In Tesco you can get three Quorn chilled items such as pretend cottage pie, pretend peppered steaks and pretend chicken pieces for £5. Tesco do their own frozen range too and I particularly like the pretend beef burgers, pretend chicken nuggets and pretend sausage rolls. Three packs for £4. Even that just listed for £9 would provide me with 18-20 meals. 50p plus a spud option, rice, salad or pasta.
- The health benefits? Maybe that’s more of a neutral. Missing out on protein, possibly yes, but let’s not kid ourselves the majority of meat that I did eat was processed rubbish. I expected to feel a little bit better going meat-free but going out once or twice every week is an overriding factor there no doubt.
Negatives
- The range of foods that I enjoy are narrow. I don’t like cheese unless it’s boiling hot on a pizza. I don’t like eggs, cold pasta, very fussy with jacket potatoes and HATE most pulses especially chick peas and red kidney beans. What purpose do they have on this planet seriously? Thankfully I love a good vegetable so if all else fails I can take a cauli to the footy with me for a half time snack. Or soup in a hip flask?
- Eating out. I can’t have a sandwich due to my dislike of egg/cheese. If I make my own it’s usually Marmite. Restaurants tend to have very little in the way of veggie options and not too keen on chilli, pasta or salads. The first lunchtime I went out and got a jacket potato with beans it cost me £3.50. Daylight robbery, and not as nice as mine I’ve since taken to work with me.
- I used to be one of those who stared in confusion/amusement/discontent at people who eat the aforementioned vegetarian pretend stuff. Not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings but I never understood why people desired non-sausage-sausages. Just eat other things, like carrot sticks and grass. Fast forward to today, I don’t know how I would manage without them. They’re all a bit shite for sure – pretend soya chicken nuggets FFS get a grip – but they do offer some satisfaction.
- No more Greggs Sausage Rolls. I’m quite emotional writing that. We had good times. No Haribo sweets or full English breakfast either! Thankfully Greggs do a splendid vegetable bake as a small saving grace.
So how long will it last? It’s a hard question not knowing how it started and has been maintained. Genuinely not that short of blog ideas enough so that I’d starve myself of a steak bake I can assure you. I set Tuesday, the three week point as a marker and now passed that with relative ease.
I’m never going to encourage you to become vegetarian or shame you for killing all those poor helpless animals (like, never ever) but be aware. If this can happen to me it can easily happen to you. Just don’t compare the saturated fat between burgers in the supermarket!
How Not 2 Life 